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S*xEpert Tracey Cox,
from UK Daily Mail who revealed the 50 things females need to know in bed. Read
below and share your thoughts.
1. You’ll have your
first orgasm by yourself. Few of us are lucky enough to start our s*xual lives
with a lover who’s so patient and skilled he can teach us about our own body.
2. Enthusiasm and being
willing to try (almost) everything once is what makes you s*xy. Looks, breasts,
legs up to your armpits – they’ll only take you so far.
3. A vibrator is the
quickest, easiest, most effective way to stimulate the clitoris, which is how
most women have an orgasm.
4. You won’t become
‘addicted’ to your vibrator.
Using it often won’t put
you off having the ‘real thing’ - quite the opposite!
Women who regularly use
s*x toys have higher libidos, orgasm easily and report less s*xual dysfunction.
About the only ‘bad’ thing that can happen is feeling a bit numb from having it
up too high. Panic not - It’s temporary.
5. Only 20 per cent of
women can orgasm purely from intercourse.
His ex-girlfriend who
used to climax every time, effortlessly, within minutes of him penetrating, was
lying.
6. If he can’t kiss,
he’ll be useless in bed.
Especially true of men
who stick a stiff tongue down your throat the second you lock lips.
7. The male s*xual
system is join-the-dots stuff. The female s*xual system is complicated and not
terribly well thought through.
Who thought putting the
clitoris outside the vagina would be a good idea?
8. Anyone can be good in
bed. But you do need a good working knowledge of your subject, experience and
be willing to take and give feedback.
9. It’s obvious if you
don’t like s*x. All the tips and tricks in the world can’t teach you how to
fake I’ll-die-if-I-don’t-have-you-now desire
10. The chances of you
both climaxing together is extremely unlikely. So let’s all stop pretending and
stop faking just because that’s what couples do on telly and in the movies.
11. If you fancy a
threesome, do it with someone you’re not in love with. It goes a lot smoother
in your head than in your bed and not much fun if you’re a frothing mess of
jealousy and insecure paranoia throughout.
12. You’ll have a much
better s*x life if you match up with someone who has the same libido.
Everyone’s s*x drive spikes at the start but about eight months in, you’ll get
a good idea of how much s*x you both naturally crave. Mismatched s*x drives are
the main reason couples fight about s*x. If you can possibly manage it, stick
with your tribe.
13. No one is born a
brilliant lover. S*x skills can be taught and brushing up on the basics, just
to check you’re on the right track, is something everyone should do. We can all
improve.
14. It doesn’t mean
you’re boring in bed if he wants to try something new. Let go of the concept
that ‘you should be enough’.
It’s hard enough making
love happily to the same person for the rest of your life. If you don’t have
variety, you’ve lost the game before it’s even started.
15. Men are visual. They
like looking at s*xy things. This is the main reason why men watch porn.
It’s usually that
innocent.
16. Both men and women
like foreplay. Quickies are great now and then but dreary and unsatisfying if
that’s all you’re offered.
17. Don’t confuse love
and lust. You spend a tiny proportion of your lives having s*x.
It helps if you quite
like hanging out together the rest of the time.
18. Men generally like
to be touched twice as hard as women do. Their skin is thicker. This doesn’t
mean you should be rough though.
19. Giving oral s*x
without using your hands is about as effective as bobbing for apples in a
bucket of water with your hands behind your back.
21. The more different
ways you can orgasm, the more orgasms you’ll have. This means forcing yourself
to try a new way to climax if you can only do it one way.
22. The first time you
have s*x shapes you forever.
If losing your virginity
was a positive experience, you’re more likely to view s*x as something that’s
healthy and enjoyable and lovers as nice people who can be trusted.
If your first time still
haunts you years later, consider working it through with a good s*x therapist.
23. Men aren’t just out
for s*x. But it’s easy to spot the ones who are. They won’t hang around past
date three if you don’t put out.
24. There is such a
thing as bad oral s*x. And not all men adore oral s*x.
25. Erections come and
go during s*x. It doesn’t mean he’s not enjoying it, it means he was focusing
on you and not receiving any physical stimulation.
26. It’s often easier to
orgasm solo than it is with a partner, especially when it’s with someone new.
27. The most likely time
you’ll fake it is at the start. You don’t want to seem anything less than
perfect. It’s later on, when you start teaching each other what really does it
for you, that you’ll have your first real orgasm.
28. All men watch porn.
But that’s OK because lots of women do too. Don’t read too much into it.
29. Stop worrying about
your weight.
Men are far more forgiving
of your wobbly bits than you are. He’s not looking at your thighs and thinking
‘Ew! Porridge’, he’s thinking, 'Let me get my hands on those'. S*xy is a state
of mind, not a body size.
30. All s*x positions
are a variant of the basic five: him on top, her on top, side-by-side, from
behind and standing.
31. If you never
initiate s*x, your partner will feel like you only have s*x to please them.
Besides, initiating s*x makes you feel powerful which is an aphrodisiac.
32. Women feel like s*x
a lot at certain times of the month and are repulsed by the idea at others.
This is normal. The female libido fluctuates wildly during the monthly cycle.
Let your partner know
this information so they don’t take it personally – and where you’re at right
now.
33. Real men don’t
always get erections. Stress, age, alcohol and lots of medication all affect
them.
You don’t need an erect
penis to have a good time in bed. Most women have their best, most intense
orgasms through oral s*x.
34. Genitals come in all
different shapes and sizes. Don’t compare yours to the porn stars: they’ve all
been ‘tidied up’, bleached and waxed.
35. If you’re thinking
of getting a ‘designer vagina’, you are barking mad. Vaginal tightening after a
particularly horrible birth is one thing but opting for a ‘labial face-lift’ is
as risky as the above-the-belt version.
Except worse because
there’s a risk of permanent loss of sensation if too much skin is removed or
ultra-sensitivity if a nerve is exposed.
This effectively means
your ability to orgasm is compromised - or removed. You look fine as you are.
Really.
36. Having s*x purely to
get the cuddle at the end isn’t healthy. If that’s what you’re really after, go
see a friend or your Mum instead of a lover. Better still, get a dog.
37. Some men ask for s*x
when what they really want is love.
Women aren’t the only
ones who use s*x to get affection. Having s*x is a sneaky, ‘manly’ way of
getting close to you.
38. S*x long-term is
very different than s*x short term. It doesn’t mean you don’t fancy your
partner because you’re not spontaneously gagging for it every day, six years
in.
39. He’s not a mind
reader. No-one knows what it is you feel like, at any given moment, other than
you.
40. Mouths are good for
lots of things but telling your partner what you like and don’t like is the
most important use of all.
41. Refuse to feel
guilty about your fantasies. What you get up to in your imagination is your
business.
42. S*x is smelly,
noisy, sweaty and unflattering. Leave your ego at the door and replace it with
your sense of humour. If you haven’t broken wind at the worst possible moment,
you’re probably playing it too safe.
43. The more you have
s*x, the more you want s*x. Stop having it and you’ll forget how good it feels.
44. Think before you
share your s*xual fantasies. Make it clear what you’re doing it or you may come
home to a ‘surprise’ you definitely didn’t expect.
45. It’s OK to stop
having s*x from time to time.
Sometimes life is too
stressful (work worries, death of a parent) or children too demanding. Taking a
s*x break takes the pressure off and stops either of you freaking out because
you know it’s not permanent.
46. Kids kill your s*x
life. But you can wrestle it back again once they’re hit age two.
47. If you can talk
though your s*x problems you can nearly always solve them.
48. Don’t try to put
yourself in a box. Women are far more erotically plastic than men and much more
likely to be aroused by the person, rather than their gender.
49. If you’re feeling
bad after s*x you’re sleeping with the wrong person.
50. S*x is about give
and take. You don’t have to reciprocate in the same session but if you’re
constantly lying back and taking, you’re a selfish lover. Not s*xy. Not
lovable.
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